Being an Adult

Reposted in a calmer tone, I think it fits the venue more appropriately.

That’s it, I’ve had enough.  Honestly I sometimes have to wonder if its just a coincidence that no matter what sector of my personal life I look in I see the same thing happening.  There seems to be this very common idea of what it means to ‘Grow up’ and ‘Be responsible’, yet these same people exhibit some of the most extreme immaturity in the process.  To make it clear I’m going to spike out a few things that are an example of being grown up. 

Be Responsible

Honestly, from my experience this is really the cornerstone of acting like an adult.  You follow through on commitments, when you can’t you let those who are depending on you know you can’t.  This so fundamental but seems to be the biggest hurdle for people. What’s worse is that they use this as an excuse for why they were irresponsible: “Sorry I didn’t reply to that email, I’ve just been too busy with work and school.”

Like hell, 9/10 emails can be answered with 1-2 sentences, you’re going to tell me that you didn’t have time to write 1-2 sentences and send it in? Go to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200.  The real reason was “I didn't reply to your email because I either forgot or didn't feel like it.”  People forget things, nobody's perfect, but don't go and lie about it too.  This also applies to phone calls, and other forms of communication.

Follow through on your Commitments

For the love of everything unholy, if you say you’re going to be somewhere, be there.  If you say you’re going to do something do it.  If you screw up, don't go prattling off 101 reasons why it wasn't your fault.  You apologize and you make damn sure it doesn't happen again.  Maturity doesn't mean never making a mistake, it means you’ll actually realize you screwed up and try to do better.  Honestly I think this is probably one of the weakest areas I see from people around me.

Treat People with Respect

You don't have to like everybody or be everyone's friend.  Maybe you're not the type to get close to others; I know I'm not that type, that's not important.  Unless that person is intentionally destructive to your life in some way common courtesy and respect are considered 'Par' for the course.  These aren't some ideals, this is basic stuff.  When you need to cancel plans or what have you, common courtesy dictates that you tell others this.  Blowing off people, even if it’s to do something you deem more important, is never OK.  See, believe it or not other people make “plans” and will often put other plans on hold when they have a pre-existing arrangement.

When a group regularly gets together to do some activity that's collaborative in nature, even in the name of recreation, its considered disrespectful to them to decide you just don't feel like it. Call ahead! Give some kind of advanced warning!  Most people can roll with that, but don't wait till everyone’s trying to get together and decide 'meh not feeling it today.'

Real Life Comes First

This phrase is used over and over again when related to most fun activities.  It’s very relevant, when you have major issues to deal with that’s not the time to be logging onto WoW or pulling out the dice for some gaming.  When real life comes up, however, that doesn't give you license to just flake out of these activities.  This should seem obvious, but you should probably let the people who will be waiting for you that some issue has come up.

Oddly enough this phrase is also very commonly abused, in a shaky grasp at what real life is.  When you have a planned get together for gaming with a group of friends, and another group of friends decides to spontaneously get drunk the ‘Real Life Comes First’ statement does not apply.  Despite what you might think, the people in your regularly scheduled gaming group also exist in real life, and you’re blowing them off at the last minute.  Obviously compromises can happen here, but don’t act like the whole thing is self-explanatory.

With Age Comes Maturity

I assure you this is not the case.  Day-in and day-out I watch people quite a bit older than me act like children.  Seriously, age matters a hell of lot less than you’d think.  It doesn’t make you more mature inherently, it can, in fact, just take your immaturity to new levels.  I've known numerous people who are considerably older than me but you would never know by their conduct.  What frustrates me is how many people I've met in recent times that need to hear this.  I guess I had hoped that people who do not grasp what it means to be an adult would be much less commonplace.

Yeah, I know, growing up is hard.